Dear Friends,
I have been working towards completing the Death Doula Certificate Program through Home Hospice Association. In completing my assignments, I came across a book entitled Caring for the Dying – The Doula Approach to a Meaningful Death by Henry Fersko-Weiss.
In 2003, social worker Fersko-Weiss created America’s first hospice-based end-of-life doula program in New York City. He believes death doulas can assist the dying by fostering a nonclinical environment and encouraging people to face feelings of regret, engage in guided imagery (i.e., healing pond), and leave a legacy project, (i.e., quilt or scroll) behind. In the last days, death doulas keep vigil alongside loved ones and lead rituals to inaugurate grieving.
There are three areas in which Fersko-Weiss focuses on through the book:
it’s important that the dying person has a chance to reflect on their life and to envision the last days of their life
the importance of holding the space during the last days
after the person dies, give yourself the ability to grieve.
An example of the third point was given in the book and involved assisting an elderly woman who was depressed. The author gained her confidence and found out that she regretted the poor way she had parented. She realized that she had not been a good parent and was depressed about that. He suggests that she write letters to her children and edited, suggested things to be in the letters. She wrote them, mailed them, the children were so happy that she finally realized and acknowledged that she had not been a good parent. They visited her, and were with her when she died, as a much more peaceful woman. In this example, the client was given the opportunity to find her own answers which are meaningful and satisfying to her.
Medicalized care for death will attempt to save you throughout your end-of-life journey, which sometimes means dying in alone in a hospital bed. Wouldn't you rather take the time to think about how you want to be remembered? To leave your family something that was yours uniquely, something that can carry forward an idea you want the people who mattered to you to know?
By reading this book, you will get a glimpse of the importance of the role of a death doula, and how dying can be a positive experience. As always, feel free to call or text with any questions you may have.
Love,
Steph
--
Stephanie Byfield is a graduate of HHA's death doula certificate program. You can learn more information about her at www.revivalwellnesspickering.com.
Comments