Dear Friends,
I wanted to let you know that I recently finished reading a book called Resilient Grieving by Lucy Hone that I recommend that you read. I do recommend this book because it is an easy read. It also reminded about some of the feelings you expressed to me. The book goes into details about several people who have experienced a loss in their life, and it details first hand how they coped or felt.
Many grievers feel like they are putting one foot in front of the other and it feels like they are just going through the motions. That often doen't feel like it is strong even though so many people say, "you are doing something incredible." There is a section in the book that talks about how that is just called being human. It may be nice to read it and to hear it from someone who can relate. It just is. You just keep going . We are made to cope with grief, and that makes us resilient.
There were two sections in this book that I was particularly drawn to. It speaks about the habits of resilient thinkers. Those being realistic optimism, keeping hope, and being mindful. It can re-affirms that you are continuing to do everything right just as you said you hoped you were. You are a flexible thinker, you adapt and you open your heart to love.
Lastly, the book ended with some realism. It summed up that nothing lasts. So we will love, we will loose, and in the end the lights will go out for us as well. It is life.
I think the part I liked most was this line:
Endure the losses, and relish the happy times.
Perhaps that is what our fellow humans means when they teller a griever that they are doing something incredible. You are living each day as if time is precious. I know that after I spend with you I am left with a sense of feeling incredible.
When you are ready to read some stories, from this book or others, I would be happy to highlight some sections that I think you would enjoy based on our conversations. Love you to pieces!
Crystal
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Crystal Bernard is a graduate of HHA's death doula certificate program.
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