"What if you could decide, at the end of your life, exactly when and where your death would happen? What if, instead of dying alone, in the middle of the night, in a hospital bed, you could be at home at a time of your choosing? You could decide who would be in the room with you, holding your hand or embracing you as you left this Earth. And what if a doctor could help ensure that your death was comfortable, peaceful, and dignified? What if you could plan a final conversation with everyone you love? You might never look at death the same way again." – Stefanie Green, MD
Dear Friends,
In a world where death is a subject we avoid really speaking about, let alone having conversation on it, the subject of assisted dying is even less spoken of. And often with so much fear and judgment. So much fear is associated with dying. The fear of pain. The fear of the loss of control of one’s life. But what if you remove the loss of control factor?
If you were able to make the decisions for yourself … where you die. Who is there. All of what it looks like. Does that remove some of the fear for you? Does if allow you to feel a little more in control of your own life? That’s what assisted dying … or maid … does. It gives people their control back. We can’t stop dying … and we can’t control really whether we end up with a terminal illness. But we can decide what our last days will look like.
I strongly recommend the book This is Assisted Dying by Dr. Stefanie Green for everyone to read, especially those who have a loved one who is wanting to become a death doula, deciding to use MAiD or someone considering MAiD but who is full of fear and uncertainty. This is Assisted Dying takes you into hospital rooms, into the lives of many humans, and helps to answer some of the questions we all have. Green helps you to take a step back and view life with a serious illness and the choices made, through the eyes of the human living with it.
This is Assisted Dying is a book I will keep on my shelves and one I will recommend to many humans I cross paths with. I will encourage them to read it, pause for a moment, and see if it shifts their beliefs or opinions on medically assisted dying.
As I often say, starting the conversations is the first step in removing the fear and making the changes.
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Jen Thompson is a graduate of HHA's Death Doula certificate program as well as an HHA infant and pregnancy loss doula candidate. You can learn more about Jen by following her Instagram page @withdignity_deathdoula.
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