I am thrilled to be a co-leader on an important programming project with Home Hospice Association called No Place Like Home. Alongside my incredible co-lead Sara Rodenhizer and our dedicated team members - Sandra, Marilyn, Emit, and Stone - we are working to create affirming, inclusive environments for 2SLGBTQI+ elders in long-term care (LTC) facilities and at end-of-life.
Our work starts with research - examining studies from Canada and beyond to understand the realities of 2SLGBTQI+ elders in care settings. With this awareness, we are designing programming for staff and residents that aims to improve experiences interpersonally, spiritually, and in direct care.
As we connect with LTC facilities, even those with self-identified 2SLGBTQI+ populations, the eagerness to collaborate has been both heartening and sobering. The need for affirming care is not just theoretical - it’s urgent. The more we discover, the more we shine a light on the harsh realities faced by human beings who have lived storied lives -people who made my life as an out, happy, and privileged lesbian possible. But today, many are suffering in silence, forced back into the closet when they are most vulnerable.
We must ensure that our 2SLGBTQI+ elders, as well as their chosen families, partners, and carers, receive the support they need in this final phase of life.
So how do we do that?
Here are just a few of the ways that anyone connected to 2SLGBTQI+ elders can make a huge difference:
Affirming Language
Being mindful of language is an important first step. The fluidity of terms and identities in recent years can be challenging for both residents and staff, but the solution is actually pretty simple: ask, listen, and respect. When we honour the identities of our elders, we create space for grace when mistakes are made.
Valuing Chosen Families & Community
For many 2SLGBTQI+ elders, chosen families and valued friends are vital lifelines. This generation lost loved ones to the AIDS crisis, ostracism, and violence, making the creation of safe support systems an epic undertaking for many. We must recognize and include these chosen family members in care decisions, ensuring a welcoming environment for everyone who matters to our elders.
Creating Space for Affection
Affection isn’t just for heteronormative couples. One story that stood out to me was of a resident in an LTC facility who needed a “lookout” to keep watch at the doorway so they and their partner could hold hands, stroke each others’ faces, and share a kiss - moments that straight people often take for granted. It shouldn’t be this way. We need to normalize affection between 2SLGBTQI+ people, ensuring that elders of all genders and sexualities feel comfortable expressing and accessing their need for emotional and physical intimacy in long-term care environments.
What’s Next?
These principles will guide our work as we develop workshops, training sessions, and resources for care providers and residents. Our aim is to improve inclusion and safety for LTC residents, with a focused commitment on our 2SLGBTQI+ elders who need our love, consideration, and support now more than ever.
We’re excited to share more about this project through our new Instagram account, @noplacelikehome.project. Please follow us for updates, behind-the-scenes stories, and insights into how we are building this project from the ground up - and how you can help.
Financial support for No Place Like Home has been provided through the Pride & Remembrance Run.
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Rhonda Garnier is a graduate of the HHA Death Doula Certificate Program. You can learn more about her work at lifesmomentsinlove.ca
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